Rosalina
Rosalina Shufflebottom (born July 30, 1180; Age 838) is an ageless queen from outer space and the beloved wife of Waluigi. Despite always eating like a pig, she is very sexy due to her ridiculous metabolism. Appearance Rosalina is a tall lady. She's six feet tall in her base form and full power form, but she also has a giant form that is fourteen feet and two inches tall. Her breast size depends on how close she is to someone she's attracted to. She has beautiful light-blonde hair, and aqua blue eyes. She is often seen wearing a light blue dress and sporting a wand (with seemingly no function). Biography Childhood Rosalina Shufflebottom was born to King Oran and Queen Cascade, in Gusty Garden Galaxy (which is actually a star system) in the year 1180. She lived with her parents and her brother Phoenix on a planet not far from YouTube Poop World. She had a very happy childhood until her mother died when Rosalina was just ten years old. After the queen’s death, she and her father became increasingly distant. They were never really close to begin with since King Oran always wanted a son to replace Phoenix, who he deemed “wimpy.” Journey into the Cosmos One day, Rosalina found a Luma, a member of a bizarre group of alien species resembling five-pointed geometric stars. The little Luma cried about having lost his mother to some giant whale-looking thing in space. He convinced Rosalina to steal the keys to her father’s spaceship, so they could travel into space to look for the Luma’s mother. The Luma was under the impression he had amnesia when he had actually just been created at that point. Rosalina, who was only eleven years old when this adventure started, looked across the entire Mulky Way Galaxy (which actually was a galaxy, unlike the star systems that everyone thinks are galaxies), but never found the Luma’s mother. After five hours of searching, Rosalina was practically starving and adapted to eating Star Bits. Star Bits actually serve as cosmic fuel, meaning they have more calories than a Krusty Burger, albeit without the deathly side effects and terrible taste. This might explain why Rosalina started eating like a pig all the time. After three full years of searching, Rosalina found hundreds of other Lumas and inadvertently became their “mama” (which may qualify as a case of child abuse). She and the Lumas soon built the “Comet Observatory,” an elaborate spaceship with its own artificial gravity system. By age 20, Rosalina began looking into a way to stay young forever. On her 23rd birthday, she was granted eternal youth, much like her parents were, after giving god here the last Space Mountain Dew in that particular spiral of the Mulkey Way. She spent the next 800 years looking after the Lumas and banging aliens in outer space. Mario’s Stupid Adventures in Space Rosalina began to visit YouTube Poop World every century. When Bowser once again kidnapped Princess Peach and headed into space in September of 2003, he ramsacked Rosalina’s “Comet Observatory” spaceship, taking seven Grand Stars and over 100 real Power Stars (not to be confused with the Power Moons disguised as Power Stars in the Mushroom Kingdom), which served as the energy source for the spaceship. Mario teamed up with Rosalina to collect Power Stars to re-power the spaceship. This led Mario and many adventures through different star systems including Honey Hive “Galaxy” where the plumber met Winnie the Pooh, Space Junk “Galaxy,” Battlerock “Galaxy,” Beach Bowl “Galaxy,” and several others. Despite having a very high power level compared to Bowser’s, Rosalina mostly did fuck all in helping him and stayed in the Comet Observatory for some reason. Eventually, the Comet Observatory gained enough power to travel to Bowser’s new star system to help Mario defeat Bowser and rescue Princess Peach, at least until Bowser tried a similar scheme the very next year. Moving to YouTube Poop World In 2006, Rosalina began visiting YouTube Poop World for real instead of just orbiting above the Mushroom Kingdom. Within just a few months, she met Waluigi and fell head over heels in love with him. Rosalina played it cool, and the two sparked a romance and eventually got married in April 16, 2010, resulting in Rosalina being crowned Queen on September of that same year. Relations in YouTube Poop World Amazingly enough, Rosalina is friends with both Dr. Ivo Robotnik and his alternate future self Dr. Eggman. Although it’s not really clear why Ivo Robotnik is friends with Rosalina, it’s likely that her professional relationship with Eggman is due to the latter being a self-proclaimed Feminist. What? It says he identifies as a feminist in the Sonic Heroes instruction manual. Rosalina and Waluigi once did a double date alongside King Harkinian and some broad he found after his original date cancelled. Rosalina and Waluigi never did this again as King Harkinian ruined their dinner by making weird comments, such as his complaints about the movie theater popcorn despite the fact that the four of them decided not to go to the movies that night. This ended with the King’s date leaving, and the King being quite depressed, which was very awkward for Rosalina and even more awkward for Waluigi since the latter had a boner after thinking about Rosalina’s panties. Trivia *She is skilled at rhythmic gymnastics. *Her gymnastics leotard is one of the many reasons DK would always expand his dong. *She is Space Catholic and attends the same space Church as Kang and Kodos. The distinction between space Catholicism and regular Catholicism isn't entirely clear though, but since she's hot, You can assume it's more practical the way she worships. *Lumas are known for turning into other objects (usually a “Launch Star,” whatever that is), usually causing their consciousness to ascend into the afterlife due to the transformation almost always being permanent. Hungry Lumas, however, are gluttonous bastards that can turn into small star systems if enough star bits are shoved down its gullet. *Her parents were granted eternal youth in circa 5,000 BY. *Her mother believed that eternal youth meant immortality, hence why she died in a battle she couldn’t win. *One of Rosalina’s attendants is a jet black Luma with no name. He is of the opinion that he can’t say the N-word because he’s not an actual black person. **The belief that he’s not a person because he’s not a human might be considered racist by other jet black aliens. *In an alternate timeline that was abandoned by Dr. Eggman, Rosalina and Waluigi never married. It’s not clear as to what changed between the two timelines. *The real reason everyone thinks the star systems Mario traveled to are galaxies is simple: many alien civilizations called these star systems “galaxies,” and no one bothered to correct them. **Some people think that since these aliens were the first to develop “astronomy,” that means they weren’t incorrect, but these people need to GTFO. Category:Immortals Category:Characters Category:Females Category:Mothers Category:Super Mario Bros. Category:Super Smash Bros. Category:Really Hot Category:Heroines Category:Epic Characters Category:Humans Category:Pervs Category:Power Level Under 9000